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Birds Aren’t Real. Are they?

As Russia tells it, the “strategic military operation” in Ukraine – far from an invasion – is a response, a defense against the neo-Nazi aggression of the NATO Empire.
If you know that, you may also know that birds aren’t real. They are robotic winged spies, droning around and covertly pecking information about the citizenry for the government. Information that can be unpacked and repackaged into disinformation or misinformation.

You may be familiar that “Birds Aren’t Real” is the genius parody of a college dropout, Peter McIndoe, most recently featured on “60 Minutes.” Word from the Bird in Chief is that this now 5-year-old aviary campaign has 1 million “bird truthers.”
“If it flies, it’s spies,” McIndoe whistles. He has carried out this conspiracy charade with all the tools of modern marketing: billboards, pop-up street rallies , a widely consumed bogus “CIA informant” interview, a plain white van with black lettering, and convincing social media posts and videos. His only visible means of support is online T-shirt sales.

The genius of this ruse is not the number who are in on the satire. Its genius is exposing the untold millions who, thanks to the power of suggestion, now suspect or KNOW that birds are not real. These bird brains are the confirmation of the world we now live in – like the flock who can be lied to 30,753 times over four years and still pledge allegiance to a Liar in Chief.

The humor of Birds Aren’t Real is meant to be apolitical, to laugh and make fun of the absurdity of disinformation that now saturates our air. To feed politicos and other truth-decayers and “influencers” some of their own bird feed. “Fighting lunacy with lunacy” is how one of McIndoe’s lieutenants puts it.
Conspiracy seeding has become low-hanging fruit, berries ripe for birds. Healthy skepticism and critical thinking have gone the way of civility in today’s upside-down world. No matter how bizarre, if a story or “truth” fits one’s narrative or politics or world view, reality be damned. This should scare the bejesus out of all who fly right, not to mention anyone who doesn’t believe that birds recharge on powerlines.

Birds Aren’t Real is the real deal. In a symbolic if highly risky moment of bird truth, Birds Aren’t Real even burned a Cardinals banner near the St. Louis Arch, close to the stadium that houses the city’s beloved baseball team. The Red Bird fans saw red.

It caught my attention during the recent NCAA “March Madness” basketball championship game in New Orleans when a bird truther holding a “Birds Aren’t Real” placard flitted on camera behind a panel of sportscasters on the national broadcast. The beauty of that moment was the game’s matchup involved the mythical Jayhawks of the University of Kansas, birds who -- improbably -- came back from 15 points down at halftime, to win 82-79.

Those birds that night -- they were real.

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